Last day of classes and soon I will be moving on to finals week; the term began a week later than last and I am very quickly realizing the crunch of time. My course grades are due on the 22nd–the 22nd! Three days before the holiday. I can’t believe it. And lately I have has so many ideas for the Cornbread Project and also I have had the feeling like I am a much better writer than teacher and I am thinking all I need is the time to fail.
So perhaps I will paint some broad strokes here. I hope soon I will be able to sit on my couch and stare out the window and try and work on my own work in my lap as opposed to a student’s work or the institution’s work of assessment. Dec 18th is the date for assessment. And I want to get back to the couch and to Bea and Manito–Lolo and Cornbread. As I am starting to realize the direction of those stories. And Anne Lamott advises we try and imagine placing family and responsibilities into a bottle and creating the chance to complete the dificult work of creatiing fictive spaces. And Didion gives me the idea of self-respect so perhaps I will have much more time to work on Cornbread.
And D and I yesterday were talking about Bea as if she were real–like Salinger states: real enough to give a lunch and put on a train and send her off into the world. And D and I were discussing her direction and her relationships as if they were real and breathing. So perhaps I do understand Susan-Lori Parks and this idea of the characters tapping on your shoulder and begging to be in your work–wanting to live in the work.
I hope I can get back to them soon.